Where's My Spark?

"Toby, I can't find my spark," I said in an angst-y kind of way.

He stretched out his long length on the screen porch deck and rolled over onto his back to let the afternoon sun warm his underside.

"What do you mean by 'spark'," he asked.

"The thing that happens when I get going with something and there are no hours or minutes, no thoughts, just immersed and alive."

"I get it," he replied, "sort of like when I capture a rat; it's dinner and a show...hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, main course, and dessert."

I tried hard not to picture that, but he seemed empathetic in his cat way. 

It was my turn to ask, "Is that your spark? Hunt a rat and turn it into entertainment, cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, main course, and dessert?"

He added, "and sometimes after-dinner drinks." I have to remind myself his cousins are tigers.

"Then, do I just eat, drink and be merry?" I asked.

"Sounds good to me," he answered. 

Hmmm. 

"How did your field hunt go?" I asked him.

"Nada yesterday, so I went back to the barn and ate the canned stuff," he answered. 

"I went back, too," I told him, "though not to the barn. My friends Paula and Carl shared a bit of their vegetarian experience. They don't worry about the legume-grain thing and are perfectly healthy. Also, they sent me a chocolate chip zucchini brownie recipe."

"So," I went on, "I took stock of my omnivorous inclinations and realized even though I'm not a full-bore vegetarian, my eats fall largely on the plant side. Over years I've reduced meat, eggs, and dairy--a lot! I reviewed my scattered mental thoughts, then made a conscious, intentional resolution--as much as possible and my pocketbook allows--to not use industrial agriculture foods--especially meats. I want to help cool down our planetary situation. The small amount of meat I use will now come exclusively from local, responsible, sustainable, (animal and human) humane sources. Some of them I've already been using. Wendy sure has, plus her garden. I'm still researching fish sources."

Toby responded, "makes me happy I'm a carnivore!" He hopped up into the chair next to me and we sat quietly for a couple minutes. Then, he said, "I saw you were wearing a mask again when we went to the vet for my annual. What's going on?"

"There's Covid's Delta variant spreading everywhere now."

"What! I thought you humans were beating down this pandemic."

"Not enough humans have gotten the vax, my buddy, so the virus gets to have its way. Some folks couldn't get to a vaccine or have a medical condition that says it's not okay, some were afraid, some delayed getting a jab, and a big bunch of noisy ones scream something about 'personal freedom' and refuse to step up and get their vax."

"Good grief! What about the rest of the world?" he asked.

"Humans around the world divided the land into countries, and some countries can't get the needed vaccines because they don't have enough money or people who hold power mess it all up big time. So the virus is spreading faster and farther and now is coming back to bite our USA collective butts. So it's back to masks, distancing, curtailed activities of all sorts."

"I didn't think I'd appreciate my rabies booster at the vet's, but now I do," he said, "Oh, and that distemper one, too."

"Yeah, I'm glad we got you caught up with your vaxes," I agreed. "Do you know I have had the rabies shots, too?"

"Whatever for? he asked, "The dogs and I aren't going to bite you!"

"Oh, it was back when I worked in a medical animal research facility. It was required."

It was his turn to be shocked. "What!!! you never told me."

"I'm sorry, my friend, I didn't think of it until now since all these people haven't gotten the Covid vaccine. I accepted just fine that the rabies vax required by the job protected me and others, including the animals, but these decades later, I have misgivings about that job itself--I must have been awfully numb and I feel sad about it now. But as for vaccines, rabies was just one of the vaccines required--it was a hospital setting so I had to have flu, tetanus, and hepatitis vaxes, also I was tested regularly for TB and Valley Fever to protect the patients and me."

"That's a lot to think about," he said.

We sat quietly for a bit. He stayed so I think he forgave me for that job and for his hated, upsetting car ride to the vet's; even so, he didn't mind the kind veterinarian. A cool breeze wafted through, my mind drifted to pleasant things.

After a bit, he said, "about your spark question..."

My mental image of chocolate chip zucchini brownies faded. He clambered from his chair over onto my lap, then on his hind legs he stretched his front up and over my shoulder. Pressed against my ear, he rubbed his head in my hair and I could hear the rhythmic rumble in his chest. Hours and minutes and thoughts disappeared.

*

From the Arts Desk:

Keoni with his piano accompanist Melivia Raharjo won the Duo Competition at Music Academy of the West...both in fine form...

Congratulations!
Keoni and Melivia

A phone call from Keoni just before I launched this last night revealed not only his joyful excitement over recent accomplishments and competitions won, but a widening circle of friends and collaborators, and opportunities unfolding. And, it revealed that I miss him a lot, especially after the long pandemic time he spent back home at the farm. 

________

And, we have July's installment from Paula. In her words...

"A celebration of the biodiversity of the Sonoran Desert through the lens of color."

In case you are wondering what the July 10th "haboob" is--it's a fast-moving dust storm that an in-coming monsoon season storm blows ahead of itself. I can almost smell the rain that makes these wonderful desert colors that Paula's rendered so well.